Capstones and Launchpads
Observing couples this year, I’ve noticed that there are two kinds of marriages.
Some marriages are between spouses who developed as individuals. Fully established, they “cap off” their lives through marriage.
These couples are generally older, late 20s and beyond, often with professional licenses, graduate level educations or a house and family from a previous marriage.
Other couples marry to create a launchpad; building their lives together before being fully established as individuals.
They are generally younger, in college or recently graduated. They don’t let graduate school or rapidly evolving careers delay their marriage.
From my perspective, the majority of marriages today are capstones, not launchpads. I think that many people are afraid to commit too early or to the wrong person and those are valid concerns.
Taking a risk on love is beautiful.
I’m a romantic at heart, I encourage those who are able to build a launchpad to take the risk. Many successful couples regret that they had not married their partner earlier.
I consider my own marriage a capstone, not a launchpad. I delayed marrying my wife for almost 5 years, until the time was “right”.
Just over one year after our wedding, it's wonderful.
Two Weddings
We started the year with a spring wedding to celebrate our friends Ethan and Kayla Forbes.
I have a soft spot for backyard weddings. I find it makes the day more relaxing and removes some of the stiffness that venues can create.
Transforming the backyard with wedding decorations, a dance floor, and seating is a lot of work, but they pulled it off marvelously.
I kicked off Karaoke with Frank Sinatra’s “That’s Life”
Our second wedding in mid 2025, was for Matthew and Jenny Neu in Reno, NV.
A beautiful wedding for a beautiful couple and an opportunity for me and my wife to spend time with her extended family, gathered from across the country.
If you’re in the Reno area, Virginia City is worth seeing. Lots of beautiful old western buildings and history to enjoy. Lake Tahoe too is beautifully blue and well worth a swim.
Invite us to your weddings in 2026! We're great guests!
Interesting Conversations
Writing this newsletter is the perfect reason to ask strangers their thoughts on marriage and money. Here are the most interesting casual conversations that this newsletter created in 2025.
At a party, I asked two men the same question “What advice would you give to young couples?”
Independently, they gave the exact same advice. Both said “marry rich”
My Take: Marrying rich can make life easier in many ways, but it won't make the marriage happy or loving. Choosing one’s partner based on money is so cynical!
The next interesting conversation was about the interviews for this newsletter.
I was asked if anyone had talked about opening their marriage in order to save an unhappy marriage.
My Response: It hasn't come up!
My Thoughts: It poly wouldn’t work to save a marriage
Milwaukee
We took a trip to Milwaukee and visited the Art Museum there.
A beautiful building, with very fine exhibits. I recommend it to anyone visiting the area.
One exhibit had paintings from the Dutch golden age.
This one was titled “The Marriage Trap”. There are couples of all kinds. A man and his horse, many married couples and the man and his drink in the window.
“The Marriage Trap” Jan Victors
I learned that Dutch Golden Age artists often used nets and marriages as allegorical symbols. A piece of wry Dutch humor!
This “joke” is brought to us from 1640/60 A.D. almost 400 years ago!
Let me Know What You Think
Love & Wealth is supported by my financial planning business, Longitude Financial Planning.
If you find this newsletter valuable, would you please take a moment to leave an honest review?
Your review will help one more young couple find this newsletter and create one more important conversation about money early in a new marriage.
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart,
- Thomas
