3Mers
Approximately 1 in 10 marriages in recent years have begun at work, according to enterprise apps today. This is down from 1 in 5 in the 90’s but still significant.
Catherine and Jim’s relationship is an outlier. When they met at 3M, Catherine was Jim’s supervisor.
In time, both recognized and valued each other’s complementary skills and perspectives, which became a strong foundation for their partnership.
You might be thinking, “that's an HR violation!”
HR never had anything to worry about. By the time their relationship became serious, they were peers in the business and found ways to work closely with each other for 20 years.
Note: Multiple sources agree, the significant majority of women prefer a man who makes the first move and asks them out on a date. Shoot your shot, even at work.
This is a good article about navigating HR concerns: https://www.weforum.org/stories/2018/02/google-and-facebook-have-similar-rules-on-asking-out-coworkers-you-only-get-one-chance/
Building Wealth
From their early days together, Catherine and Jim’s plan was always “Career, Save, Retire”
Early retirement has two important components. Saving and buying value.
Finding value can be tricky. Sometimes value is a stream of intangible cashflows, like in business, and sometimes the value is more material.
Catherine and Jim both have a well honed sense for finding a good value. Their philosophy is music to my ears.
“We both came from very poor backgrounds, so I think that made us extremely frugal.” Jim said “I have this theory that 99% of anything we need already exists in the world today.”
Their spending philosophy is to invest in items they use often.
"Spend money on things that you touch, and actually, the more you touch it, the more you can spend on it. So that would include underwear, sheets, pillows, dishes... You don't spend money on knickknacks on the shelf."
For example, Jim frequently enjoys music and movies. He spent $900 on a pair of high quality used speakers instead of paying $3,000 for new ones.
Their saving strategy is straightforward. They leveraged their individual 401(k)s, following advice they got as young professionals. They lived frugally and contributed as much as possible.
After a long corporate career, building 3M operations in foreign and domestic markets, they are beginning their retirement together.
Early Retirement
Attention to spending, enlightened attitude towards money and early planning enabled them to retire at age 56. Well below the average found in a 2025 Boston College survey of 65 for men, and 63 for women.
They have always had fully joint bank accounts. Catherine takes the lead, managing the household finances.
“We do things like monthly reviews, quarterly reviews, annual reviews... Does it match what we wanted to do?” She said
They chose an early retirement over significant increases in their pensions and 401(k) accounts.
Their philosophy on money, like mine, was influenced by Your Money or Your Life by Joseph R. Dominguez and Viki Robins.
This book lays out nine steps to change your relationship with money with the goal of financial independence.
Through this lens, one limits frivolous spending and values their life beyond working for money.
Marriage Pillars
Their first pillar: Respect
Catherine and Jim were very clear about this; saying “Contempt is the relationship killer. If you don’t respect the other person, you’re in trouble.”
They continued, providing a clear warning for young couples.
“If you ever feel yourself going, ‘Oh, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about,’ rolling eyes, that’s a red flag.”
Their second pillar: Communication
“Neither of us really has to be right. We don’t have a lot of pride invested in the decisions that we make. We’re just after what’s the best for both of us.”
A clear line of communication has kept them laser focused on their shared goals. Respect keeps them listening to each other to collaborate and solve problems they experience on the road there.
Note: After our conversation, Jim shared this meme with me. Its lesson blends lean manufacturing principles and household finances. My two favorite things!
In manufacturing, sorting is an early step of making an organization lean and efficient. Sorting the things that one needs vs doesn’t need in a given area.
The same principles that organize the factory floor can also organize household finances.
The reference to 4 accounts is an example of a simple structure to improve communication. Vs 8 or 10 different accounts to keep tabs on.
Credit: Kizenexecutive
Conclusion
After a lifetime of saving, investing and planning, Catherine and Jim have built a generational success.
Today, they are focused on their adult children. Making sure that they are equipped with the same sensibilities their upbringing gave them, without the same hardship.
“That’s probably one of our anxieties, frankly, about our children, they didn’t experience that [hardship]. I think for the most part, they've absorbed our lessons and just observing us and that frugality and just how to save money."
When a marriage reaches a level of wealth, you’re able to then bless the next generation or two. If you have priorities like Catherine and Jim, that means eschewing consumerism and focusing on financial independence and experiences.
“We haven’t bought the kids a Christmas gift in 20 years. Honestly. We take them on vacations, we give them money towards their 401ks or to invest in Roths.”
They give the same advice to newly wed couples about their children.
The bottom line: “Start them early.”
